BY JESSICA ROUSE
Duncan “Darky” Dark met Bec “Becci” Jane Sutton when they were 10 years old. They met in hospital, Becci’s second home as she battled non-cystic fibrosis from the day she was born.
They could never have guessed that from that first meeting they would end up married and Darky would take Becci on her final awesome adventure.
After that first meeting in hospital, the pair ran into each other again at high school and again at a party.
“I remember we were at a friend’s party, and everyone was fighting with each other. I turned to Becci and we both decided this wasn’t our scene and left together.
“The rest is history!”
“We were always best friends. There were lots of ups and downs, sometimes I wasn’t well and no matter what I did Becci always stood by me. She was so special, I wouldn’t be the guy I am today without her, I would’ve been off the rails who knows where,” Darky reflected.
“She always said I was her rock, but she was always, always mine.”
Becci was up against it from the start, born with non Cystic Fibrosis Bronchiectasis, a chronic lung disease. Becci and her family moved from Scone to Newcastle so she was closer to the care she needed when she’d end up in hospital up to four times a year.
Becci’s life was tablets every day and battling a disease you couldn’t see.
“She was used to doing everything on her own but as she got older and sicker that independence started to fade. It was sad to watch because in her mind she could still do it all. She lasted three to five years longer than anyone else we know with what she had had.
“She was fighting every day.”
In their early years, Darky fell into the wrong crowds, ended up in rehab and eventually found his way permanently to Scone.
“I was a maniac honestly. I fought so many mental health issues and drug problems and everything that goes along with that. I would get close to being okay, things would get good and then I would go off the rails.”
It was during the first round of the pandemic that he got the wake up call he said he needed.
“Becci was airlifted to Newcastle during that first round of the pandemic. It was bad, she nearly died. That was the wake up call for me; I was off doing something crazy and not being present. She trusted me to be there and I wasn’t.
“I was going to lose her if I didn’t do something.
“The whole time we were together I always wanted her to marry me, but she never wanted to. I came back to Scone after rehab in 2021 and my new life started. I still had to lay the ground work and finally she agreed to spend the rest of her life with me in 2023.
“Some days went so fast but honestly the time we had together it felt like time stood still. Becci was so happy.
“Becci set the example of how to be in a successful relationship. I put her through hell sometimes, but she always had my back no matter what and knew what was best for me.
“Thanks to Becci, I know what love is, I know what it is and I know how to do it. A lot of people don’t ever get that.”
In 2025, Becci and Darky went on what would be their last adventure together: to Melbourne to see Becci’s favourite band Metallica.
They didn’t blink when Metallica announced they were touring Australia in 12 months time, snapping up two tickets and planning their trip to see them in Melbourne and tie in a holiday along the Great Ocean Road, something Becci always wanted to do.
But, like everything with Darky and Becci, the trip didn’t go how they planned…
“We wrote on the calendar that Metallica were playing on November 25th so I was planning for months. We were going to leave early on November 5th and do stuff along the way. One day while I was planning I asked Becci to double check the date of the concert.
“Turns out they were playing on November 5th… I panicked! We packed everything up over the weekend, I rebooked everything and we left the Monday and headed straight for Melbourne to go to the concert.”
Becci had the time of her life dancing around in her wheelchair like nothing else mattered.
“It was rare in the last few years to see Becci’s true personality and for that night I had her back. It was hard to enjoy it though because I knew that was going to be it.”
A couple of days later they started their adventure down the Great Ocean Road.
“I remember she looked at me and said she thought this was it. We made a couple of stops along the road, I tried to get her out of the car and have a look but she just didn’t have it in her.
“We cooked up some lunch one day and had a nap and she said to me ‘I think I’m dying’.”
Darky got Becci to a hospital in Victoria and they arranged for her to be flown home to Scone. Becci’s younger brother flew with her while Darky and Becci’s oldest brother drove the longest drive of their lives back home.
“She went out with a bang. We took over Scone Hospital; we had the dogs in there and everything.
“It was strange, in the end we never really said good-bye to each other because I was so worried about everyone else coming in and out. I didn’t know if it was a good thing at the time but now I think it was.
“She just fell asleep and that was it.”
Darky, not being one to sit still, decided Becci’s journey wasn’t going to end at Scone Hospital. He wanted to walk with her from Newcastle to Scone.
“I think grief does interesting things to a human. I think I was trying to feel something different but also achieve something. You’re allowed to stop but I don’t know how to, and I felt like I had to achieve something.”
So, Darky walked, and at 88 kilometres he was forced to stop. He was in the worst pain he’d ever been in and ended up in hospital with compartment syndrome in his leg.
“As soon as I walked into the ED at Scone Hospital, I started spewing. I think it was being overwhelmed with all the feelings – the physical pain and the emotional pain and it was pretty toxic. I ended up having four surgeries in five days and nearly lost the bottom of my leg.
“Me being me though, I thought oh well no leg, Paralympics here I come!
“Honestly that time I had to spend in hospital, forced to rest, I had never been so relaxed in all my life. Without a doubt even now I have never been so calm, rational and relaxed.”
Darky’s leg healed but the injury meant the physically demanding building work he was doing had to stop. Now Darky is hoping he can use his experiences to help other local men and boys. Not just his experience with Becci, but his childhood below the poverty line living in a home of domestic violence and abuse.
“I’m so passionate about men doing better and boys growing into men and being better for themselves, their partners and their families.
“People here ask me for advice. I am starting to realise I am not a normal guy, I am not like everyone else, my experience isn’t like everyone else’s. My family and the circles I moved around in were not like everyone else’s. The way I think, and act is different to everyone else.
“I didn’t realise until I started to get some clarity that my life wasn’t normal.”
Darky wants to be there for there for as many people as he can and is already making an impact as coach of the Reserve grade side at the Scone Thoroughbreds rugby league club.
This season the team’s jersey’s have a rose on them for Becci.
“I don’t regret anything but I get sad sometimes that I didn’t give Becci more of that last section of my life. I just wasn’t right in the head. It happens with so many men and some of them never figure it out. I was just so lucky she was always there for me.”
